All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
