Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
