My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
