You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
