I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Panties = found
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
