around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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