Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
