How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
