Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
