i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
