That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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