Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
