im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
love makes seman taste better
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
