My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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