yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
