Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
