I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
