escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
