I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
