I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
