Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
