it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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