Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
