I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
