it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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