New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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