My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
