so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
