guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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