i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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