Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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