return my video game
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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