Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
