He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
