VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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