found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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