i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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