Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
