"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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