You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
