Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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