You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
