good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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