Is it because I queefed?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
