Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
