I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
