I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
