The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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