kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
