and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
