you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
